Thursday, May 23, 2013

Practicing your funeral speech

Now you should have finalized preparing your eulogy, it is advisable to practice it. You can do this various times. I advocate you do this in numerous phases:

1. Practice alone- the first thing you can do is start reading your address aloud to for yourself more than once, until you it.

2. Spend time practicing by yourself in the mirror or videotape your practice session – The next activity you should do will be to practice in the mirror or better still looking at a video camera. Keep in mind, you want to look up thereby making eye contact with the whenever you can, so you ought to practice this. It should get a lot easier as you become familiar with your funeral speech.

3. Rehearse when in front of a family member or close friend – You must do this more than once, in order to convey the eulogy without feeling too nervous or upset. Ask your ‘test audience’ to give you frank comments.

Some questions to ask might be:

  • Is the tone OK? Do you find it too somber or too funny?
  • Will some of the stories or jokes included be taken the wrong way?
  • Was I talking too fast?
  • Do I say any kind of ‘filler words’ (umm, like, and so on. which often come from your mouth subconsciously during the course of pauses)
  • Did I made a good amount of eye contact?
  • Is there other things you can advise me that might help make this better? Please be critical and honest.
The more you practice the more comfortable you'll be, but always bring a written copy, even if you decide to memorize it!!

Six things I need to know before giving a funeral speech

Since you've agreed on the task of writing and delivering a memorial service tribute for the deceased, it’s vital you know some basic things about the memorial service prior to even get started with writing your eulogy for the memorial service.

1. Exactly where and when will my funeral reading be held?
Generally you will deliver the tribute to the departed soul at the funeral home during or after a wake. Its possible you have the service graveside, and be required to speak right there. In the event the deceased person was cremated, perhaps you may deliver your tribute from the point the ashes are distributed. You’ll truly feel more at ease once you learn what time and the place you’ll deliver the eulogy, and also just what happens before and also after. In the event that the details are unavailable from the members of the family planning the funeral service, or you don’t wish to bother them in their grief, you could possibly get in touch with the funeral home or memorial supervisor for this information.

2. Are there going to be be others speaking or only me?
If there are likely to be multiple speakers at the service, you ought to find out how many, who these are, and get in touch with them to find out what they may be discussing. In case you don’t know these people well (or at all), it is possible to telephone these individuals or send all of them an email (try to get this from someone in the family group, or a shared friend) to go over your current first concepts, discuss information to make certain the final funeral speeches are not conflicting, or overlapping.

3. Will I use a microphone?

Lots of people, who are not accustomed to speaking in public, prepare a beautiful reading or tribute for the memorial service of their dearly loved one, only to now become unhinged by the presence of a microphone, particularly if they have practically never one before. The most frequent blunders involve being to near or too far from the microphone, shouting into the microphone and assuming the microphone are going to still pick up audio if your head is turned (unless of course it’s a headphone mic). Question if it turns out you will encounter a microphone, and if precisely what type. Whenever possible, go see it ahead of time, and if at all possible, coordinate a sound test at some point before the service.

4. Is there a podium?
Just like the microphone, some very well prepared speakers are defeated by the not having a podium, or one which is too complex. If you have your eulogy on cue cards, or paper, it is natural to have a podium in front of you to place these on. In case you are standing up facing the audience without a podium, you will feel a little more displayed, which takes some getting used to. In today’s technological age, many podiums are digital, and have screens or tablet computing devices built-in into them, as a mini-teleprompter. Should this be the situation, make certain you have an understanding of the system, and that you have got some kind of back-up in the event that it fails.

5. Who will be in your crowd?
The eulogy will be to pay tribute to the deceased, nevertheless you must also try not to alienate or offend your attendees. You can expect to talk about anecdotes, but you have to convey memories and give emphasis to personality features that are recognizable to all (or at least most) of the family and friends, or they may feel like you are speaking about a stranger. In case an ex-spouse, step-children, etc. attend, take into account and also emotionally sensitive with regard to the words you employ along with the anecdotes you convey.

6. Will there be a time constraint?
It’s important to observe that your involvement will most likely merely be one piece of the funeral service and that you should do the job within the defined time. Yet again, those organizing the memorial service can indicate this. Even in case there is no restriction, you want to make certain that your memorial speech is not so short that it seems like you barely were familiar with the individual, but not so long that everyone grow inattentive or overwhelmed.

Once you ask these questions before the day of the burial ceremony and your tribute, you’ll improve you’ll be much less likely to come across unexpected surprises that might detract from your inspiring eulogy.